When The Road Turns To Quicksand

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.” – Unknown

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Over 65 million of us worldwide are living with epilepsy. Depression affects between 30 and 55 percent of us on this very journey of epilepsy. Two-thirds of those dealing with depression do not reach out for help. They stay silent. They shove the feelings way down low. Try to handle it all themselves. Not a good idea.

As I made my way along the journey, sure there were bumps in the road and I fell down but I shot straight back up. Storms here and there, but that would not stop my pace going forward.

“A storm may come; but as it came it shall pass.”

Interestingly enough, over time, I failed to take notice the toll that this began to take on me. I was not being as vocal as I should be with those closest to me about how I was feeling. I was suppressing my feelings about setbacks and my condition as a whole. Pushing them far down inside. Not a good idea. As I continued to stride forward, one step at a time, with each step, the ground beneath me all the sudden wasn’t feeling so solid as it used to be.

I found myself needing moments alone to have a good long cry. Lying awake at night with a multitude of thoughts as time drifted on and on. The feeling of helplessness covered me like a blanket and I began to take notice of other differences within myself that I did not recognize before. This caused me to sit back and think very long and hard about the road that I was traveling down. The road once solid had become like quicksand beneath my feet so abruptly. I asked myself, “How did I get here?” I didn’t even realize that I had begun to show signs of depression.

In speaking with my husband, my best friend, my confidant, he held me close assuring me that everything would be okay. Reminding me of just how strong a fighter I am and always have been. Comparing the fight that I am in right now to a boxing match so-to-speak. Sometimes, you get knocked down. But you will get back up and you will win this fight. He went on to say something that truly touched my heart as my loving husband. He said:

“Through every battle you face, I will always be in your corner.”

That there, is exactly what I needed to hear. It was the hand outstretched that I grabbed hold of to pull me out of the quicksand and back on solid ground. Now, this is not to say the road will never be rocky or unstable again. God knows life is nowhere near perfect. However, one thing is for certain. When things become difficult, look around you for an outstretched hand of a family member or friend. Do not push the feelings you have deep down inside with the hopes that it will just go away on its own or that you can handle it on your own.

Are you carrying a heavy weight upon you right now of sadness, worry or depression and you need someone to talk to? Reach out! Whatever it is, reach out. Get yourself back on solid ground. You are not alone. Take the weight off of yourself and know without a doubt that it’s going to be okay. You’re strong and you’re going to get through this.

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