What Gives Me Peace

A heart at peace, gives life to the body. – Proverbs 14:30

I didn’t expect a lifequake. One hiccup at sixteen years old having had a grand mal seizure, however most of my life, my stride was smooth sailing without facing a single storm. Just a few years later, I soon learned a very valuable lesson. Never invest in expectations. My seizure came back to visit as I drove to the store. Causing me to crash my car. This time, it had no intentions to leave. Diagnosed with epilepsy, with my heart in pieces, I searched with my aching soul at the entirety of the discord left by the diagnosis. Plagued by thoughts of what I could no longer do, needed to set aside, wait for, let go of, seizures tests and more seizures, I stood still creating a lake with my own tears.

It took quite some time to swim to shore, taking hold of the hands of my loving spouse and family who helped me to stand firm on solid ground and discover a brand new, confident, brave and determined me.

Looking ahead I knew the journey forward was not smooth sailing and the entirety of the sky was sunny. Though flipped upside down, as I took the journey, I would be piecing my life together again in a new and improved way. Expectations left behind, fear chilled me to the bone. I knew nothing of this brand new normal. I knew I could no longer return to the way things were before. The before had crumbled to ashes behind me. Only echoes of memories.

An unsteady breeze of loneliness and distress swirled within me, beginning my journey. Peace, I could not find, as much as I strained to find it all about. I worried I would collapse to my knees on this journey. I refused to give up. I avoided every detour sign I saw along the way.

I believe that we all begin our journeys on that rough and bumpy road. Quite the trying and testing trial. A shake of our courage and faith. As difficult as it is, hold on. Hold on with all the strength you have in your entire being. You will overcome. Every challenge, every storm, every mountain, you will overcome if you hold on in faith.

In the almost nine years battling epilepsy, I’ve adapted to this new normal and have learned countless valuable lessons. Grown wiser. Had become refined better in a multitude of aspects than I was prior to my diagnosis.

I discovered that rain or shine in the journey, peace was and always had been there. I’d just been missing it with the tears of sadness, sorrow and anger in my eyes.

What gives me peace in this journey?

  • Knowing that my story is not over yet and God has a plan for my life
  • That I am blessed with the best spouse who has stood by my side since day one, that I love more and more each day.
  • That I have such an incredible and wonderful family who motivates and encourages me every step of the journey.
  • That I have such tremendous and reliable friends who stand by my side.
  • Taking notice of my growing confidence and diminishing meekness.
  • Helping others who too are on this very same journey in all the ways that I am able.
  • Taking time to listen to encouraging, positive music.
  • Writing articles, opening up my heart and mind, sharing optimism and inspiration.

What gives you peace along your journey? Share in the comments section below!

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