“Rock bottom was the brand new and resilient chapter of my life’s story.”
If we were to take a look at our lives like a book, from the moment we graced the stage of this world to this very moment and reflected upon all of the painful times, whether physical, emotional, social, spiritual, etc. it would be difficult to count them all up wouldn’t it? However, there are certain times within our lives that we can navigate back to that are particularly painful to us. That really struck us hard. Times in which we asked, “What am I going to do? How am I going to overcome this? What if I can’t get over this? Why me? Why now? What have I done to deserve this?”
Have you ever found yourself asking these questions?
I know that I have. Several times throughout my life for a multitude of reasons. We all go through difficulties within our lives. Life was never meant to be smooth sailing. If it were, I would assume, Earth would not be called Earth, it would be called Heaven.
Throughout the entirety of my life thus far, I have been through quite a bit of difficulties and struggles. Difficulties and struggles that tested me in every which way. Some in which I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Perhaps one day, I may write about them in a different article. However, in 2008, after marrying the love of my life and preparing for a beautiful future with heart and mind filled with dreams aplenty, neither I nor my husband were prepared for what was waiting for us just 4 months down the pathway.
The morning of December 2008, as I made my way to the store to purchase Christmas and birthday presents, I encountered a grand mal seizure behind the wheel of my car and struck a pine tree. I never made it to the store. It was my husband and I’s very first Christmas and birthday celebration together.
I was later diagnosed with epilepsy.
I was devastated at the news. Yet, neither my husband nor I were prepared for just how devastating the diagnosis was going to be. As I walked along with the heavy weight upon me and the rain cloud over my head with a mix of emotions swirling all around me, not yet at ease with the news, more painful blows continued to strike us one-by-one.
- My car. My very first car I ever owned. Damaged and battered, I had to sell because I could no longer drive. I loved that car. So many happy memories. It broke my heart to see it go.
- My job. A job I enjoyed very much and had made many friends. I had to leave because I needed to take time away to recover.
- Chris’ job. Chris was an astounding graphic designer, but was laid off, forcing him to carry the load as a novice freelancer and sole income.
- Our home. Our very first home together. As we had just begun to put our loving touch within and without the home, we had lost our home. It was a terribly agonizing feeling for the both of us.
- My Uncle Mike. As we stood surrounded by pillars of boxes in our nearly empty home, heartbroken and exhausted, I received a phone call from my mother that I did not expect and was not prepared for. My Uncle Mike had been attacked, robbed and shot. He would be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life.
Was this rock bottom? Yes, I believe we had reached it. I didn’t believe we could go any lower than that right there. Stripped nearly down to bare bones of all that we had. By the grace of God, with open arms our family welcomed us with a place to stay until we could get back on our feet.
Emotionally, I felt so hollow and empty. I had cried myself dry and then some. Both Chris and I had walked a very treacherous road in the beginning. Hand in hand, we knew that love would see us through.
Rock bottom is a defining moment for a person. You are faced with a truly bold question. Will you give up or rise up?
As pained as we were, the trials we were staring down, we knew that we were not alone in any way, shape or form. Filled with determination, hope and faith, it only willed us forward and filled us with optimism rather than pessimism.
Having nearly everything taken away, this cleared my mind to see all that was truly important within our lives and what was not important in our lives. This caused me to realize what I needed to include in my life and what I needed to exclude from my life. This gave me the ambition to fight rather than to choose the method of flight. Having nearly everything taken away, both Chris and I clearly felt the presence of God and we knew that we needed to, must and would always make him first in our lives from that day forward.
It took us losing just about everything over the course of several years, to realize there was so much good to come out of all of that. I say this because in the midst of the tragedy, the both of us, and even our families began to grow on a multitude of levels. We were being molded. Strengthened like never before. Spiritually, emotionally, socially. Broken relationships were being mended. Wavering faith was becoming rock solid. Family unity was coming together like I had never seen before. I wanted to pinch myself because it all felt like a dream. I was awake. It was real.
Sometimes rock bottom can be the best thing that can ever happen to you. If you find yourself there, don’t give up. Rise up. Be filled with determination, hope and faith.
Ignite your will ahead to all that God has in store for you. Open yourself up to nothing but optimism.
Questions For The Reader
- What is most important within your life right now? What is not?
- What do you need to include in your life right now? What do you need to exclude?
Rock bottom could very well be page one of an incredible place to begin your story.