I Looked Back

Oftentimes, you hear the quote,

Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.

Which is a wise and honorable quote. However, I’ve learned a few things in looking back.

Looking back is good so long as you….Don’t keep your focus there

  • Don’t keep your focus there.
  • Learn, grow and become strengthened, rather than weakened.

So often, I found myself looking back to moments before epilepsy barged into my life unannounced. Every now and then, my mind will drift there and I must assure that I can learn, grow and become strengthened in these moments.

I would reflect on moments when I were able to drive a car, work a job, have a drink with a friend, stay up late, walk alone without fear that a seizure would come ’round, just to name a few. Do any of these sound familiar to you?

In looking back at what epilepsy has prevented me from doing, I as a matter of fact, found myself with a new and refreshing perspective on life as a whole. Looks like epilepsy’s plan backfired!

It has been almost eight years that I’ve driven a car. Eight years since my epilepsy diagnosis/car accident. No, it’s not that I’m afraid to drive a car, it’s that I care immensely for my well-being and well-being of others and have no intention of risking either. Since “setting down the keys” for good, I’ve found it truly therapeutic and much healthier to walk, even exercise with my husband. I am able to take in gratefully, all of the wonderful creations of God as I walk. Including my life, which was spared and has been multiple times since.

Looks like epilepsy’s plan backfired!

Just because right now, I’m unable to work a job outside of the home, doesn’t mean I can’t be the best housewife, supporter for my spouse, cook, epilepsy advocate, blogger, speaker, that I can be. It’s important to know, that the game is not over simply because it may be difficult to work a job outside the home.

In looking back at who I was and the lifestyle that I lived before becoming diagnosed with epilepsy, sure…at first I questioned myself. “Was it what I ate?” “Could I have slept better?” “Should I have lowered my stress at some point in my life?” Then I came to the understanding that epilepsy can happen to anyone, of any age, at anytime.

I realized soon after becoming diagnosed with epilepsy, it was time to make a change in my life. It was time to part ways with the habits of the old me and introduce myself to a new me of healthier lifestyle choices.

  • Eating right
  • Sleeping right
  • Taking care of my body, mind and soul
  • Learn from past choices and grow into present and future choices.

The quote I stated above, yes it is true. None of us who have epilepsy or any medical condition who may be reading this, are going in that direction. However, that doesn’t mean, we can’t learn from the past and become better in spite of it.

So long as we don’t allow ourselves to linger about in the past and give permission for it to weaken us to our knees, the past can be a learning tool for a productive and spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically prosperous future.

I looked back. I looked back in order to look forward. Faith-bound, hope-bound, and strength-bound.

You can too!

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