No one ever said that this journey would be a smooth sandy beach. The day that this journey began, I saw those big black stormy clouds come billowing in like raging bulls with a mission. Crackling the road ahead of me as far as my eyes could see. I knew. Yeah I knew I was in for one hell of a ride and I would be tested on every level so I would need to get prepared for the journey ahead because I had no intentions of throwing in the towel whatsoever. Quitting just isn’t what I do. Yeah there might be some bad days mixed in with the good days but regardless, I planned to stay the course until the very end. And so the journey began….
Adjusting to a new way of living when you are diagnosed with epilepsy is challenging in itself. I remember with vivid detail the stinging frustration of the inability of no longer being able to drive my car that I had crushed into a pine tree. Legally able to keep my drivers licence but given the suggestion to not drive for safety purposes and agreeing with doctors, law enforcement officials and family too. Hanging my head low when walking into the room to ask for a ride to the store. There was no need for the feeling of shame or sadness of course, however, at the time, it pained me to have that right of passage taken from me in a blink of an eye.
From the inability to drive to the inability to have quiet relaxing candle lit bubble baths alone, to no longer being able to consume a small glass of red wine occasionally due to medication. Sometimes even the medication itself played a role in tampering with the way in which I felt and the way I thought. It’s extremely important that you pay close attention to your body and the side effects that are listed with your seizure medications. If you notice anything that you find alarming or out of the ordinary, keep a journal and be sure to let you neurologist know so that he/she can properly give you the right amount of medication. Some days along the journey sure the road was bumpy and stormy and rainy and smiles did fade and tears did shed. Times were hard along the way.
Adjustment is hard when you’re learning how to restructure and piece back together a newer stronger you. You know when they say growing pains hurt? It’s true. Growing pains do hurt. But through the growing process you’re getting better. Stronger. Tougher. Braver. That’s what I learned.
I also learned, the things that I was “losing” or needing to adjust weren’t such a big deal truly. Can’t drive a car? So what! Walking is a million times better for you anyhow. So is biking. Or jogging. Or running. Can’t drink wine? Sure I can! Did you know Ariel Wines and Fre Wines makes non-alcoholic wines for those who choose to want to drink wine without the added alcohol? Amazing. There is always a wonderful positive way around things. You just have to look for them!
You must be completely open and honest with yourself from the very start of the journey. Know that the journey is not going to be an easy one and know that you are going to be put to the test. Know that there might be times you may cry. A lot. You may need to reach out for the help of family and friends and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Why? Because we are all on this journey in this fight together.
You may have good days. You may have bad days. However, guaranteed, they are days you don’t go it alone.
I am a happily-ever-after wife, an Epilepsy Diagnosee, Advocate for Epilepsy Awareness (The Epilepsy Network), life lover & Christ inspired! Life is a journey and I'm loving every moment of it. Even the bumps in the road!